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Nov 5, [1929] From:        To:        
 
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The American Express Co. Inc.
6, Haymarket

American Express

Visitors' Writing Room
(Not Official)

Tuesday?

London, S.W.1, November 5 - 1929

Dear Paul? again? in confidence? which? again? I hope you won't mind? much? but I think you want to know and can manage better if you do? and so will feel all right about my writing. I probably won't need to bother you very often.  Today your father had me send a cable asking for full details about situation? saying shall not leave London til reply received.  The market reports today set him worrying anew? and he is fretting again? fearful that you held on too long and have been one of the unfortunates?
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and that he may find himself needing to help rescue your side? and meet your obligations? etc. So? now we are sidetracking all plans until word from you.  If matters are safely enough handled by you? and situation still warrants going south for awhile? am hoping you will cable and not wait to write? so C-D-'s anxieties will be quickly as possible allayed. I was strongly tempted to suggest it? but couldn't word it so it wouldn't too plainly show? which wouldn't do, of course. If your father wanted to go back? or not? would be O.K. with me— as you Know,— but I certainly hope he is to go south? in order to lift the nervous strain that is doing him no good. To get word that all is well and to go on will do him more good than any of the actual advantages awaiting him there;? although if affairs take us to America instead we'll be as game as possible to be sure but? I hope such a situation will never have to repeat itself? however it will need to be handled another time.
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Your father is not so well as when we left home? and is paler and thinner than he was? and doesn't react as I wish he would.  I think he feels less energetic although I don't ask? and don't want him to feel that it is apparent.  When he talks about feeling not so well I do all I can to make him feel that it is temporary? that he will improve in every way when he gets over the cold he caught crossing to Ireland? but? he spends more time in bed?  
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and is more easily depressed and disturbed.  I make every move and take every step possible to spare his reserve of vitality? whatever that is? and wish it were in my power to give him my excess!? at that? he may live a long time yet? and here's hoping!! I hope your situation is as safe as I rather feel that it is? for your own sake as well as your father's? but if things are not luckily settled for you please don't let this increase your worries.  My object is to help avert any adding of worries? all around?, Knowing that none of us can be free from extra concern? ahead? unless somehow your father can enjoy certain peace of mind; his bodily ailments being about all that he can philosophically accept? at a showdown? I believe ? no matter how he might mean to bravely and gamely conform to any old fate.  Anyhow? whatever has? or must transpire, I want you to believe that I am your friend as well as your father's? and together we will all get back to some sort of safety=zone. You both have been fine toward F-N-H? which both he and I deeply appreciate? but so far it hasn't lifted him out of his dilemma. What is to be done to create a position for him, I wonder ?
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C-D? Thinks he will have to resign himself to travelling.  He is an expert salesman? among other abilities? his associates always have said? but? to send him adrift in that field? apart from his family? would be to him exactly the [low ?] on earth that it would be to you to have to walk out of your beloved home=life? away from your wife and children? wandering from town to town, hotelroom to hotelroom? alone? lonely? homesick? heartsick? in the
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struggle to procure and provide a living? in separation.  Where I more briefly indicated the foregoing to your father he answered in desparation? (for which I can't blame him-) "There'll be a limit to what I can do?; maybe he'll have to clerk in a store, then."  Well? there was nothing unfriendly in word or manner on either side between us but? it's almost unbearable to have F-N-H who has been so fine and capable and unsparing of himself and unselfish toward everyone? (very much like your own nature?) so up against it now, largely because of the age=limit? which none of us can checkmate. If I were able to earn anything worth going after I'd consider it my duty to go to his assistance? but I am in no position to be talking about it, even,? and? if an opportunity presented itself? your father always has been? in twentysix years together? my first consideration, and always will be, I'm afraid,? I will try to refrain from writing this way again.  All overflow of emotions? deep anxieties? a desire to ease and lessen complications makes me feel that it is better to- just now.  Please destroy this?

Truly yours with sincere affection?

Ruby?
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The American Express Company, Inc.
Banking - Travel - Shipping

6, Haymarket,
London, S.W. 1, England

Visitors Writing Room,
(Not Official)

?
Personal
?

Mr. Paul Darrow
Amalgamated Bank
111 West Jackson Boulevard
Chicago?
                    U.S.A.
Illinois?
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